A man is like a Zip-lock bag. He holds everything inside but you can still see through him.
Ask the men in your life if respect is important to them?that is if you can get them to open up for you. If you can find one who will be open with you, he will tell you how vital respect is to him. However, don't be surprised if he evades the question. It's much too personal for him. It's a regular “Catch 22.” You see, the chances of him answering you directly are not likely because...well, to admit his deep-seeded need for respect would make him seem vulnerable and no man wants that. Opening up might cause him to lose respect and subsequently, lose his manhood.
That's the way God geared men. We can't help it. It's impossible for any normal man to exist without respect. As you know ladies, women get their value through their relationships in life. Men get their value from what they do?that is to say, their accomplishments and the respect that is netted from them. That is why it is so devastating to a man to lose his job. It hits us right where we live!
But in the home, a man's need for respect is much greater than anywhere else. In fact, this may sound strange to you, but a man needs to be almost… worshiped . Treat him with respected, and teach your children to do likewise. That's the first step in having a happy, fulfilled man, which leads to a happy fulfilled marriage, which in turn leads to well-adjusted kids in a peaceful, God-centered home. If you don't do this, you will have just the opposite?a home filled with strife and resentment.
Ladies, there's a well kept secrete I want to let you in on. Don't make the mistake that a lot of women make. They think that just because their husband is big and strong that he can emotionally handle anything. Wrong! Dead WRONG! We guys don't like to admit it, but we have a very fragile ego. It's that “Catch 22” thing again. Our fragile ego keeps us from admitting that we have a fragile ego.
Whatever you do, girls, don't miss this! Women are the most powerful creatures on this planet! They possess the incredible power to either make a man feel like mighty Superman or make him feel like wimpy Clark Kent. Absolutely no one can damage or build up the ego of a man like a wife. We may not like to admit it but it's true nonetheless.
Notice Peter's wording in 1Peter 3:1-2, “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over WITHOUT WORDS (without nagging him) by the behavior of their wives, w hen they see the purity and REVERENCE of your lives.” Other words for reverence are “respect” and “worship.” This is where a women's power is revealed. Wives, you are the only one in the home who was been given this awesome promise. Husbands weren't given this promise. The wife is the recipient.
The power of a wife's influence over her husband is phenomenal!
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it
will eat its fruit. (Pr.18:21 )
Wives, is your husband not serving God? If so, don't try to use words to reach him. Don't try to force your will on him by fussing at him. You'll eventually learn to regret it. “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.” (Pr. 13:3) I know that you don't want your marriage to come to ruin, but if you persist in this type of behavior, in time you'll become something that you never wanted to be—a nag. Commit him to God. Do your best to an example of a Christian lady around him. Let your life do the talking. Let him see the purity and reverence of your life.
As for those who have Christian husbands, think about this. If your Christian example can touch a lost man, how much more can it influence a man who knows the Lord?
A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day. (Pr.27:15)
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. (Pr.21:9)
To be frequently nagged at by a spouse, be it husband or wife, is one of the most emotionally draining, psychically and spiritually damaging, experience one can endure. It's imperative that you understand this. I can't express it in strong enough terms; any man worth his salt will not respond to nagging—he will, however, react to it. Harsh criticism, nitpicking, from someone close effects us all, but for a man it hits right where he lives. Keep it up and one day you may lose him.
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.
I don't mean to sound like I'm just picking on wives. That's not my intention. Each of us should treat one another with the utmost respect. However, to a man respect is paramount in his thinking! Prolonged nagging, game playing, verbally bulling him into doing what you want him to do is a poor example of a life governed by purity and reverence. Trying to control him with sex or any other method will only end in disaster! And rather than drawing him to God, you'll cause him to flee from Him. In his mind, he will retreat to that corner of the roof and lock up emotionally.
Behold the power of a woman!
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. (Pr.14:1)
WOW!!! Ladies, you have the power to build your home or to destroy it. That's some heavy stuff isn't it? Please don't get the wrong impression. We men are equally responsible with what we bring into a marriage and many a man has done his share of destroying homes. But girls, you stand alone with this God-given gift to either make your husband walk like a giant or crawl on his belly like a worm. It's up to you. Wield this power with tender care . Be the wise woman—not the foolish woman, and God will bless you. He'll bless your marriage and your home beyond your wildest dreams.
So, ladies, pray for your man. Don't try to fix them. My wife, like most wives, sometimes gets into this fixit mode with me. When this happens, I try to gentle remind her that fixing the many things wrong with me is not her job. It's God's job. After all, who's image do you want your husband to conform to anyway-yours or God's?
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. ( Heb.10:23)
But, I can't count the times I turned away
I'm sorry I pushed you down
*I'm Sorry by David Kauffman from his album, Simple Truth . Copyright/Label: Label: Damascus Road
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Prolonged nagging, game playing, verbally bulling him into doing what you want him to do is a poor example of a life governed by purity and reverence. Trying to control him with sex or any other method will only end in disaster!
Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?(Amos 3:3 NIV)
But girls, you stand alone with this God-given gift to either make your husband walk like a giant or crawl on his belly like a worm.
After all, who's image do you want your husband to conform to anyway-yours or God's?